


Triggers

by RobronSugdenDingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Untouched, Crying, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Men Crying, Past Abuse, Safewords, Smut, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 06:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobronSugdenDingle/pseuds/RobronSugdenDingle
Summary: Aaron and Robert enjoy a day without Liv in the house alone, meaning that they can gladly have sex without the thought of scarring their little sister. Until Aaron feels a heavy weight in his chest and doesn't realise he's stumbled across some triggers.In other words, smut, and a whole load of aftercare





	Triggers

It seemed to happen everytime Liv decided that she was going to stay at Gabby's. Between work and Liv and Gabby not being as close to one another anymore, the idea of sex hadn't been there to Robert and Aaron. So whenever Robert had extra time to lay in bed in the morning, or Aaron wasn't too tired when he came home, they would have sex. Today just happened to be one of those days, when the usual dull colours of the house no longer looked cosy, but instead...sexy.  
  
Why were sexy colours always dark anyways?  
  
Everything just seemed to have that...redish glow to it...red was a sexy colour wasn't it? Not that Aaron owned any red boxers. Robert surprisingly didn't either. He stuck around with blue and white Calvin Klein and even owns a stupid geeky pair of star wars that Aaron vowed to never have sex with Robert in.  
  
Ever.  
  
So today, yes today, happened to be one of those days. When they weren't woken up to the sound of Liv banging around the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible while making herself toast and tea with the radio on up full blast. Robert had a leg curled around Aaron's side, his hand resting lazily in the front of Aaron's boxers. It wasn't a sexual thing, really.  
  
It was more of a...well a habit that never disappeared. This obviously didn't lead to sex since they never had sex everyday. If they did, then...maybe they should see a doctor, or a counsellor.  
  
But this morning, a hand curled in the front of Aaron's boxers meant feeling his husband swell up in his hand, meant getting a thrill or even a kick out of hearing Aaron's morning yawn and moan. Maybe it would be sexier if he didn't have terrible morning breath but they've literally accidentally swallowed foam from a fire extinguisher and Robert was happy to act as a human scratching pole when Aaron had chicken pox.  
  
Aaron pushed back against Robert who was starting to feel a stiffy coming on in his boxers. He reached back to grab onto the back of Roberts thighs, the leg that was curled around on his side and he squeezed at the skin there so he could push back onto Roberts dick harder. A mix between a tease and a 'I've just woken up and this is the first thing on my mind' action.  
  
Robert chuckled at that feigned a small gasp before murmuring in a low morning voice.  
  
"Taking advantage of me already? So early in the morning"   
  
Aaron froze at that for a second before turning around to smash his lips on Roberts, rolling his body on his with a gasp while keeping Roberts hand in the front of his boxers. Roberts hand curled around his dick, finally and he managed a quick moan before he sat up properly, still straddling Roberts chest and lifted himself up to take off his boxers. They reached his ankles before Robert grabbed him, brought their lips together and rolled their bodies around on the bed to switch positions.   
  
Even when Robert tried to blindly reach for the drawer in his bedside table and knocked over a couple of books and the lamp, he still didn't stop kissing Aaron.   
  
He had to sort of pull away to get it though because no way was he blindly rummaging around his messy drawer for their items needed.  
  
.......  
  
Sex was amazing. It really was.  
  
Surprisingly they didn't have sex in the shower afterwards, despite how desperate they were to keep their hands on one another. It's what two weeks of nothing do to you with a busy house and busy work. They did end up having sex as soon as they came back from work though, what was originally supposed to be Robert home for lunch rather than the caff, ended up being an announcement of Liv staying with Gabby another night and then a quickie on the couch.  
  
Which probably reminds Aaron that he should probably clean the couch later.   
  
Robert went back to work, Aaron cleaned himself up, and...just sort of looked around. He wasn't sure why he was feeling this way, this uneasiness and fear of something happening because nothing could happen and nothing was gonna happen.   
  
He couldn't even remember how long ago he had even felt like this, like...like that time...  
  
No.   
  
He didn't want to remember that time. There was no need to. Past was in the past and it stayed there for a big fat good reason.  
  
He finally willed himself to clean the couch, clean himself by taking a bath. He wasn't the biggest fan of baths, always thought they were quite girly in a way but of it helped ease his muscles (and his bum) then he could make an exception.  
  
For some weird reason, the razor on the edge of the bathtub looked foreign, different and weird. He didn't shave often, neither did Robert who was born with a permanent baby face. A baby body actually.  
  
Aaron froze again.  
  
There he went again, thinking of the most stupid sentences that set him back, prickled his skin and made him shiver.  
  
Bath time was over.  
  
He got out, wrapped a towel around his waist and decided to air dry. No one should be coming in the mill anyways, but he still locked it when he saw Roberts set of keys gone from the hook. He actually took them for once. He hooked his own keys up and went to their room and changed the bedsheets, not bothering to put them in the washing machine, just dumped them in the corner of the room. He opened the drawers that were underneath their bed, took out the bedsheets and put new ones on.   
  
They were dark purple and had that weird umbrella material that was a mix of silk and something slightly rougher than silk. Robert liked it because it cost a fortune. Aaron liked it because it felt weirdly nice against your back.  
  
He lay back on the sheets from the side of the bed, fresh and cool against his bare back, feet planted on the floor and slowly, his eyes slipped shut until he was asleep. He wasn't fully asleep, more of those feel like you're drifting away peacefully kind of sleep which was weird because he had that kind of sleep for a couple of hours until Robert came home. He switched off the television that Aaron left on downstairs, hung up his keys and walked upstairs to find his husband.  
  
Aaron however, was rudely awakened to the feeling of his husband kissing the side of his neck with a smile. He reached his arms up and around Roberts neck, back arching so he could push himself up to feel his husband. Aaron smiled and rubbed his eyes when he removed his arms and pecked Roberts lips.  
  
"Hi"   
  
"Hi yourself. Good nap?"  
  
Aaron nodded and reached up to Roberts neck to stay untying his tie, tossed that aside and started unbuttoning his shirt. Robert grinned and made work of the towel Aaron had around himself still, his...  
  
"Did you use my shower gel?"  
  
Aaron blushed and shrugged.  
  
"Shoved it in the bath. Made good bubble bath...I'll get you more tomorrow?"  
  
"No, no I don't mind. It's just..."  
  
Aaron crooked an eyebrow and Robert kissed his neck before inhaling and smiled.  
  
"I love it when you smell like me"   
  
Aaron scoffed with his own grin.  
  
"Weirdo. You strippin or what?"  
  
Robert didn't need to be told twice.  
  
.......  
  
They had both decided to...not so much spice up their sex life, more like to try something new. They were literally just about to start, Robert finally shedding his last bit of clothing and he straddled Aaron's waist and his phone had to fucking ring didn't it?   
  
Not only that, but to Aaron's horror, Robert actually answered!  
  
"I'm so sorry. It might be Rebecca or Ross. I don't wanna chance it"   
  
Aaron nodded and Robert answered despite looking at the caller ID first. Judging from his face, it wasn't Rebecca or Ross. Prick.  
  
"Hello? Uhuh...oh god..."  
  
And that's how the conversation went for a while. Robert had a long silence for a while and Aaron thought he was daydreaming until he huffed, apologised, made up some emergency and hung up.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
"A client freaking out because their papers got stolen on the bus. Said he didn't even touch them or anything..."  
  
And that gave Robert an idea. He explained it, Aaron agreed to it because last time they did something to 'spice' up their sex life, it ended up with a hotel room being trashed and water stains on the wall from where Aaron had to clean it. They left a generous tip but still...  
  
So they did it, three times exactly until Aaron had that weird feeling in his chest again and again...in his head...  
  
It was just so much...he really thought he could handle it but...well, he could handle it but it just...  
  
He came again along with Roberts final thrust and could slowly but surely feel his body...shut down. Not in a tired way or anything (which was surprising because he had literally just came three times untouched) but he just...  
  
Robert kissed his mouth gently, thumbs stroking his cheeks whilst doing so and he sighed and let go of Aaron's legs and...  
  
And Aaron just let his legs drop.   
  
Were they supposed to drop like that? So...so doll like or even robotic?  
  
"Aaron?"  
  
Nothing. Aaron just lay there, arms at his side, eyes fixated on the ceiling and his bottom lip quivered and his eyes watered and Robert panicked.  
  
"Aaron? Aaron...Aaron, hey what's wrong?"  
  
Robert cupped the sides of Aaron's face, stroked his cheeks with his thumbs and tried to stay as calm as possible without freaking out.  
  
"Aaron Aaron Aaron...come on...come back to me...Aaron...come on...come back..."  
  
And that finally seemed to get some sort of reaction out of Aaron. He blinked and some tears fell down and Robert wiped them away with every thumb stroke and Aaron finally moved his hands to cover his eyes. As if he was ashamed or something.  
  
"Aaron please...come on, what's happened? Was it too much?"  
  
And Robert paled.  
  
"Please tell me you weren't that spaced out during the entire...oh god were you?"  
  
Aaron shook his head and Robert let out a sigh of relief because he seriously doesn't even think he could forgive himself if that had actually happened. Ever.  
  
"Come on...it's ok...it's ok...you're fine..."  
  
Robert gently held Aaron's hands in his, removing them from his eyes so he could get a proper look at him. He gasped and cried and Robert tried to calm him down by pressing kisses onto his face, along his jaw, forehead, cheeks and temples and nose and lips...  
  
"Shh...come on Aaron..."  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
Robert paused, pressed another kiss to his cheek and pulled back. Aaron seemed to be calm enough to have normal breathing, chilling out slowly. He wondered why Aaron was apologising because...last time someone had apologised before sex was when Robert had to tell Aaron about his huge Rebecca mistake.  
  
"Aaron?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry..."  
  
Robert rolled off of Aaron and grabbed the tissues from the bedside table to wipe them down. He grabbed the towel that used to be around Aaron's waist and walked into the bathroom to dump it in the washing basket later. When he stepped out the bathroom, he watched Aaron who sat up and stared at him as if he was scared.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Thought you were...you know...annoyed or summat..."  
  
Robert shook his head and walked to the bed to peel back the covers. He opened a drawer and tossed a pair of boxers to Aaron to put on because unlike him who had the confidence to walk around stark naked, Aaron wasn't. Aaron, who still didn't seem keen on moving...well, he was probably overwhelmed from the sex they just had but still...  
  
Robert helped him move, swung his legs over the edge of the bed so Aaron's legs tangled over the edge. He watched Aaron slide on his boxers before leaning back in bed, covers pulled up to his waist.  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
Robert rolled his eyes, got in bed beside him.  
  
"Stop apologising...idiot...just...just tell me. Was it me? Sex...was it...too much?"  
  
"No. No...it's just...I dun-I'm sorry..."  
  
Robert rolled his eyes again, didn't comment on his apologising once again and pulled Aaron in on his side to let the smaller man lean into him. Aaron never admitted it, but he was a cuddler.   
  
"Ok...well, when you're ready, I'm right here...just don't let it stew around in that big head of yours, yeah?"  
  
Aaron nodded, kissed Roberts chest and Robert kissed the top of his head before Aaron finally drifted off. This left Robert awake and alone to mull over any possible triggers that would make Aaron like this. Self harming was definitely out of the question, no new cuts or any scars.  
  
Was he too rough with him? Just...Aaron always told Robert to always be himself during sex, act the same as he was when they weren't even together, before he even found out about Aaron and that monster. As stupid as it sounded, Aaron had a safeword, had a clear opportunity to get out of it if he wanted to. He didn't say it...didn't tap three times if he wasn't able to talk...  
  
What the hell was going on in his head then?  
  
Robert couldn't let it lie. He drifted off for fifteen minutes before heading downstairs to look in the bins. He wore his housecoat, rummaged around the bins to see if there was any sachets...  
  
Aaron would never go back to drugs again, ever ever again.   
  
Would he?  
  
Robert saw nothing, went back upstairs and slipped back into bed, an arm around Aaron, keeping him safe and sound.  
  
........  
  
Aaron woke up from his sleep to find his husband was also fast asleep beside him, lips parted to let out little snores. He leaned into him and kissed Roberts cheek before Robert stirred in his sleep and blinked his eyes open.  
  
"Hmm? Aaron?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Robert looked around the room until his eyes fell on his alarm clock and he yawned.  
  
"Oh...is that the time? Dinner? Or takeaway?"  
  
He didn't bother giving the option for the pub because he knew Aaron would not like to go out after his mini breakdown earlier. Aaron hummed in thought and shrugged.  
  
"Chinese? Feel like that prawn crap you got last time"  
  
Robert smiled and was about to stand up when Aaron grabbed his arm, holding him back. He looked at him with wide eyes and looked away when Robert caught his eye.  
  
"Can...can I talk about earlier?"  
  
Robert nodded. Finally.   
  
It took Aaron a while of getting comfortable in bed again but he was finally able to talk, with his hand in Roberts.  
  
"I dunno what happened...it...it sounds stupid but...this morning when we woke up and..."  
  
Robert raised an eyebrow, squeezed Aaron's hand.  
  
"I know you were joking but...when you said I was taking advantage...and then I took a bath and saw the razor an-don't worry, I didnt cut myself, wasn't even thinking of it...it's just...I was thinking of you when you don't even need to shave and...then I made a joke thinking of you with-because you've got skin like a baby and..."  
  
Robert had to stop him with a squeeze of the hand and then a really confused look on his face because...what?  
  
"Aaron...you're not making much sense if I'm honest..."  
  
"I just remembered...remembered him...do you think I'm similar?"  
  
Robert frowned, narrowed his eyes in disbelief and anger and...and just pure anger. He let go of Aaron's hand, cupped his face and squeezed his face.  
  
"You are _nothing_ like him. You hear me? _**Nothing**_. Don't you _ever_ compare yourself to them, you understand me? Aaron, you're the most amazing bravest strongest person I know...just because you're unfortunately related to _that_ , doesn't mean you're anything like _that_ ok?"  
  
Aaron nodded, blinked away his watery eyes.  
  
"And...and if you ever say anything like that again then...then I'm sorry, but there's gonna be a divorce on the tables ok?"  
  
Aaron looked up only to see Robert smiling and he let out a breathy laugh. Robert kissed his cheek once more before planting a big kiss on his lips and Aaron sighed.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Stop apologising...I'll make it up to you later if you want?"  
  
"Yeah. With a Chinese right?"  
  
Robert laughed.  
  
"You're such a wind up"

Aaron grinned and headed out the room to walk downstairs, probably to get the Chinese menu. Robert waited until he heard him go downstairs to take out his phone and open up his notes. He pressed one he created a good long while ago titled 'Triggers' and added two more. He pressed save and shoved his phone back on the bedside table and walked downstairs to hell Aaron find this menu. 


End file.
